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Saturday, October 5, 2013

Memoirs of an Eclectic Shorebird:Demons are like Pigeons.

Demons are mostly like Pigeons. If you stop feeding them they go away. Sort of like my hips.
Now  I like Pigeons. When I found one injured I took it to the Raptor Society and coughed up a nice donation so it could be rehabilitated. 


But you want to be careful not to end up with an infestation and that how it is with demons also. Don't encourage them. Occasionally ignoring them doesn't work, and with pigeons a rap on the window does the trick.  This doesn't always work with demons. Sometimes demons need to be stared down and told very firmly, 'Go away."




If you really need to conquer a resistant demon, you'll want a woman about mid-way through Menopause.   At that point most women are as tough as Navy SEALS, and have a low to zero tolerance for foolishness. Besides, most of them already have experience. Head spinning, slime spewing, wall crawling evil creepies? HA! Three words for you, Bathing. Suit. Shopping.   Reclaiming the Possessed ? Candy from a baby; they've raised TEENAGERS. 


And for many training started young. I grew up fighting demons as many girls do.  Your father wanted a boy.” You’re a disappointment.” “You’re fat.”  “No one likes you.” “You never fit in.” “No one ever chooses you.”   I’d hear their words behind the flutter of leathery wings as they came and perched on my shoulders.  "Why don't you pull up your socks!"


One little guy liked to point out the obvious. “You’re clumsy, messy, loud.” Frankly, the repetition  was getting a little boring and one day I looked that demon right in his burning red eyes. “You’re right,” I said. “What's your point?”


 I reached down into my imagination, knitted up a fuzzy sweater and slipped it over its head. "Pink’s your color,” I told it.  “And I’m naming you Ugly Truth.” 


Behind me came the swish of wings, the swoop of something mean and beady eyed.  Quickly I reached into my bag of imaginary tricks, pulled out a badminton racket and took aim at Incoming from that old  demon  Self Hate. ”Screw-up!” it screeched.

“I’m blonde, left handed, and dyslexic,” I slammed back. “Nothing I do should surprise anyone. It’s part of my charm.”  Direct hit! 
Self-Hate soared away, “I’ll be baaaaaccckkkk!”



















 "And I'll be ready." I examined the racket before dropping it back into my bag of imaginary tricks.  There was tiny lettering I hadn't noticed before. CONFIDENCE. SELF ACCEPTANCE. “Come on Ugly Truth let’s go play  tea party. And you could use a breath mint. Jeesh "










Where we'll be wishing everyone a Happy Pink Saturday!

And these great parties later in the week
Inspired Sunday @ Sunday View


What's It Wednesday@ Ivy's and Elephants

Share Your Cup Thursday @ Have a Daily Cup of Mrs. Olsen 

Cottage Style Party @ Lavender Garden Cottage
Lavender Garden

7 comments:

  1. Hi Susan--
    What a fun post, you're a terrific writer!! I thoroughly enjoyed that! HPS ~Lorraine

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  2. Great post! Ha! Bathing. Suit. Shopping.

    Yep.

    I need to stop feeding my hips. Who knew?

    Thanks so much for stopping by!

    Jillian

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  3. I'm so glad I found your blog site - I like your style and will be your newest follower.

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  4. Hi Susan!
    Thanks so much for visiting my blog during Pink Sat. and liking it sooo much. Your post is too funny, but I think we are separated twins...except
    I'm Brunette.....and the Demon's....They keep comin, but yes they leave hanging their heads in shame..I'm wise to em and much too old. As for menopause...LOL....if they'd start lettin some over 50 women pilot's and ground forces into some of these ares where they still have problems...LOL..those middle eastern countries would have a rude awakening. I think that's why our military wouldn't let women
    in with men...Dirty Harry...Rambo..
    Robocop...look out for CamoBarbie and her Packin Mamas.

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  5. Great post and Great point not to let those demons from the past creep up on you. I hope I am old enough that I will never have to go swimsuit shopping again.

    Thank you for your sweet comments on my shabby scarf, I am flattered...Surprisingly, they have ALL sold?!

    Carol

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  6. Oh I always get so much inspiration from you my friend! Yes, let's all chase those demons away. It's kind of like the old saying, "if you tell a child their stupid long enough, they will be". I say bring on the praise, the compliments, and let's be kind to one another! Loved all of your photos and that sweet kiddies strawberry tea set. Loved how I can now refer to my girls as pumpkins instead of melons for a change. lol! Happy that you will be sharing with SYC.
    hugs,
    Jann

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  7. Wow! I love this post...hard truths, humor, and resolve...beautiful. So glad you visited my blog and left a lovely comment..now I am looking forward to following you and reading more posts like this thoughtful one.

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